Slammiversary 2013
Note: Before I talk about Slammiversary, I have two issues I want to quickly touch upon. Those being the release of Todd Keneley and TNA signing Rampage Jackson, so bear with me as I rationalise.Todd Keneley being released:
Look, I get why this happened. The three man booth wasn’t an enjoyable aspect of the show, most of their dialogue consisted of backhanded jabs and an overall argumentative nature. It took away from the show and how it was perceived as well as draining any enthusiasm from the broadcast, cutting a man to allow the show to breath was necessary, but it was the wrong man.
If anyone, Tenay should have been that guy. I get that he’s a TNA original and there’s a case of loyalty, but he just isn’t compelling anymore as an announcer. Whether that’s his dull facial expressions, his monotone voice or lack of excitability there’s a flaw in every aspect of his game. Relegate him to a backstage role, breath some youth into the show, just anything to avoid Tenay and Taz repeating their performances from One Night Only.
Why not Taz you might ask? Well to be honest, Taz has grown on me in recent weeks. Partly because he’s toned back the heel tendencies, and partly because he’s actually calling the action whilst sounding knowledgeable (shocker I know). I get why Taz did the things he did, it’s part and parcel with being a heel commentator, and whilst his homophobic remarks and obvious dislike towards Keneley for getting certain moves actually right was tiresome, it wore off as time progressed.
Keneley was a throwback, who didn’t have the most enthusing voice but more than made up for it with him calling the action like an announcer should. He was too cliché and needed to work on progressing his message clearer, but he was well liked and I really enjoyed listening to him. He made me understand wrestling better than anyone else currently on the roster. Now we’re reverting back to tired, old verbiage from Mike Tenay, and this will undoubtedly bring out the worst in both him and Taz as a duo. The commentary on Impact was the worst thing to witness, now it just becomes even more unbearable.
Rampage Jackson:
My argument revolves around double standards and TNA wishing to be presented as a company to look at with admiration, instead of resentment. And subsequently how their actions say one thing, but when push comes to shove they’ll fall in line just to appeal to the mainstream. Point in case being the Austin Aries crotch-gate scandal some weeks back. TNA took a lot of criticism for that issue, and whilst I didn’t feel it was that big a problem others were affected by it, and I can understand that. TNA and Spike came out saying Aries would be punished and he was (although we don’t know any details). Spike’s message here was to remove any threats within the workplace involving sexual harassment, or anything to make an individual feel uncomfortable. Except now both TNA and Spike – some weeks removed from that issue – are signing a man who has a ridiculous history of those exact same endeavours, except on a much larger and prominent scale.
Rampage’s history is notable, he has a history with sexual harassment towards women on numerous occasions, he’s abused women, proclaimed to a reporter she was making him horny before proceeding to faux motorboat her, he’s posted videos making light of sexual assault and the best way to rape an individual, and continued to show borderline sociopathic tendencies.
Why am I bringing this up? It’s not personal beef at all, in fact before this was announced I had never heard of Rampage Jackson, I’m not an MMA fan and I don’t need pro wrestling as an excuse to become one. This is about concern, concern as a fan of the company. We’re all massive TNA fans who want nothing more than for the company to succeed and become the best, so our concern and interest in new talents is justifiable. What’s the long term plan in place? Dixie was quoted today in saying ‘I’ve got three ways of getting new talent: WWE, free agent [like Rampage] or develop [which takes years]. If TNA are willing to attempt to strike with the hot hand for a short term fix then they’ll be a short term company. TNA want to alter people’s perceptions about them as a company, yet when they avoid the issue of how this could backfire in their face purely for some coverage on TMZ (which by the way isn’t that hard) then there’s an identity problem. It’s times like this I cannot question those who call TNA a travelling indy circuit.
Beyond that, how can this help the company? How can Rampage appeal to draw in WRESTLING viewers in a way Hulk Hogan cannot, so now we’re acknowledging the tagline of Rampage bringing in MMA viewers, except that doesn’t make sense either. TNA have had a working relationship with Bellator for some time, the King Mo experiment has yet to pay dividends, the time slot change hurt TNA’s ratings before they admitted that mistake and moved on. If MMA fans were willing to witness TNA then it would have happened by now, the majority of MMA fans don’t care for fake fighting and vice versa. One sport is on the way up, the other is on the way down.
But…. RAMPAGE HAS OVER 400,000 followers on Twitter?! HE CAN APPEALZ TO THE MAINSTREAMZZZ!!! John Morrison has over 600,000 followers, and he’s a pro wrestler. I’m not advocating signing talents on their Twitter footprint, because that’s stupid, just don’t pin all your hopes on Rampage Jackson bringing in 500,000 new viewers a week, this will end the same way the likes of Bart Scott, PacMan Jones, King Mo and the other culprits did.
Again, this makes no sense, especially from a performing standpoint. He’s 34 years old, he’ll need considerable training, and he’s willing to do that with his MMA career firmly in the front line? Jim Ross himself noted how hard it is for that to come to fruition, but what does good old JR know, right? With TNA releasing the one guy (Doug Williams) who could actually help Rampage if he had the heart the numbers continue to become more complex. TNA don’t have this idea fixated on him becoming a regular fixture, it’s a short term lazy fix to try and pop some interest, and it won’t work.
Finally, I realise TNA are likely only paying a small fee due to Spike and Bellator likely upfronting most of it so there’s little risk, but why shouldn’t their small fee go to a guy like Zema Ion instead? Obviously I don’t know the logistics, but I do know that an independent company in Chicago recently set up a fundraiser to help fund his treatment, I also know that he’s only raised $6,286 of his $30,000 target (although it’s closer to $70,000), and I realise too that Dixie has not once supported him by Twitter as she instead wants to boost her follower count. I’m not playing devil’s advocate, I’m just stating the facts, and I’ll leave that at that.
On to the review…
Up: TNA’s video packages are great.
This revolved around the main event and the Aces and Eights subsequent takeover of TNA, and it was well executed. Although how long has the studio footage of Sting standing in the rain been in their video vaults? Sting wears t-shirts now guys, get with the program!
Up: A pretty successful opener.
As with the X Division it’s pretty simple – spots are being executed, the crowd is enjoying it and fun is being had with three talented dudes. Suicide Perkins was especially favoured here, purely because he carried the brunt of the most excitable spots (shout out again to the Spider-Man in the ropes manoeuvre). It’s a shame most won’t recognise Perkins and the talent he possesses when he’s stuck behind a redundant and meaningless character in Suicide, but hey-ho!
That being said, this Ultimate X wasn’t the greatest instalment we’ve ever seen, and the fact it was even booked considering the talent involved (King isn’t a good fit and Sabin is coming off two torn ACLs) was questionable at best. And what can we say about King’s title reign? It’s hard to take anything of note, I mean he defended it in a bunch of three ways, he cut one meaningful promo (on Sabin), and it didn’t feel as much an X Division reign as it did any other championship reign would. It’s a bitter pill for Kenny King fans too, especially when he held this title since March only for Sabin to be deemed the guy to move to the main event scene after one night. I get that both guys are deserving, it just feels like King is stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Down: Is this Impact?
Hulk Hogan then makes an appearance and attempts to put over Sabin which instead just resulted in the fans chanting for Hogan, though that wasn’t his fault I admit. Hogan mentions Option C returning (which is great), and Sabin will have the chance to utilise that at Destination X (which apparently is a thing now!) I mentioned it in the comments section and I think Sabin is the right choice, this could very well set up for a Roode-Sabin feud after he competes for the world championship, and this is something I want to see without a doubt.
Aces and Eights interrupt Hogan (we sure this isn’t Thursday night brother?) They go back and forth, yet for once Hogan’s back and forth nature is the best part of any segment, and if anyone tells you smoking a pound of marijuana before competing in a wrestling ring doesn’t improve you as a performer, well then I’ll direct you to this segment. Hogan’s bulletpoints include ghosts, terrorism, the bitchism of the Bischoffs and I don’t care because Boston Strong man! Yes it went slightly too long and made no sense whatsoever, but this is the Hulk Hogan I can get behind, a guy who knows he makes no rational sense when he speaks yet does it in a way in which it’s just fun to watch. Less of the Hulkster consoling Brooke and more of this Hulk Hogan please TNA.
Down: Wes Brisco – the worst.
The match was what you’d expect, it was deserving of a place on Impact and nothing more, mainly because Wes Brisco was a part of it. It takes a special person to botch the twist of fate twice, and then pin Magnus (who wasn’t even the legal man). TNA need to cut their losses with this man, he has no look, no talent, no ability to cut a promo. He has no nothing to put it mildly, and even that would be a testament to him.
Up: SAMOA JOE I love you.
I’ve noted in the past how Joe looked unfulfilled in these never ending feuds with the toilet water of the Aces and Eights, but I’ve also realised how much fun he has when he’s tagging with Magnus. This is a tough dilemma, because I’d like to see both in singles action as much as the next guy, but these two are just a natural and realistic fit together. They have all the attributes you look for in a tag team and much more.
But yeah, Joe ruled here. Just like I want more of THAT Hogan, I want more of THIS Samoa Joe please.
Down: No kip ups from Sam Shaw today.
I was disappointed with this match, it may sound odd but it was the one I was looking forward to the most, you know because it featured two young and talented guys. Oh, that and Jay Bradley rules. It suffered from a number of issues however (and no, one doesn’t involve Sam Shaw ignoring his kip ups), the main problem being it may or may not have been a mistake to place these two unknowns on your second biggest PPV, yet I’m fine with the move. Why? Because of the exposure it brings, every crowd needs a rest regardless of how stacked a show is, and this was the match to do that. Whilst that may sound like an insult it doesn’t come across that way, it’s only what the duo can expect as they haven’t been built up in advance, and that’s perfectly understandable. At least they’ve now been introduced to a wider audience and been able to show what they’ve got, and that’s where it lies on them.
It was a sloppy match, but it also wasn’t allowed a lot of time. I personally feel Sam Shaw needs to work on a new gimmick and needs to alter his arsenal moving forward, everything about the guy screams amateur hour. I’ll say that the talent is there, but believability is a big factor, and the suspension of our belief towards Sam Shaw will only take us back to OVW. As I said I’m a big fan of Bradley, and hopefully he’ll carve a niche in the BFG series against more established opponents. The ball is in his court now, just call him LeBron.
Down: This will probably lead to Devon regaining the TV title on Impact.
Long story short: Devon and Knux attack Joseph Park backstage, there’s a cool visual in which his bloody hand slides down a wall and from there we can draw conclusions about Abyss, which admittedly is more believable than a Joseph Park title reign.
The schtick is predictable yet necessary, Devon asks for a countout victory and receives it, before cutting the balls of Abyss by stating he won’t show up. Abyss well… shows up and a plain average match results in an out of shape Abyss picking up the victory. If any match could represent the state of the championship that same match is for, then this would perfectly symbolise the TV title and how much it actually means today. You could also acknowledge Abyss making the same number of appearance as the TV title over the last year but I digress.
I’m trying to be positive, but I’ve seen Abyss on two separate occasions in the last few weeks, and both times he’s looked in poor condition and lacked any real impact. It also doesn’t help matters that Devon will find some loophole and become the TV champion again, because what we need is more Devon as the TV champion.
Down: A crusade to induct the whole of the Main Event Mafia into the Hall of Fame!
Two down, three to go.
In all seriousness though I have a lot of issues with this, whether that’s the argument of inducting active performers, the not so coincidental pattern of inducting those who have yet to make it into the WWE Hall of Fame, passing over TNA originals and your own founder and I could go on and on.
I have no problem whatsoever with Kurt Angle as a professional, I love the guy to death and what he’s put his body through for this business in unrivalled, and in that same business that today involves part timers cashing in their pay checks that’s admirable. If anything I would say Angle is more deserving this year than Sting was last year, and whilst Sting is showered with praise and is treated like a game changer Angle is ten times the performer. Angle has had the biggest matches in TNA’s history and is constantly trying to be the best on the card (and he normally is), Sting shows up with his big paycheck, the part time schedule and can you name me one match he’s had that could even rival Kurt’s biggest outing in TNA? Sting is there largely on name value, Angle is there because he busted his balls every night. And the moment in which TNA showed Angle close to tears was unbelievable.
Call me old fashioned, but I believe this should start and end with Jeff Jarrett, he should have been the first guy inducted and right off the bat it gives this Hall of Fame some legitimacy. It’s like TNA are sending out the message that they could not care less what Jarrett did, the fact that he set up TNA as an edgy and provocative alternative is going unnoticed. Don’t talk to me about Jarrett passing himself over to allow others to be inducted first, or Vince McMahon not being in the Hall of Fame either. Jarrett has little to no say in today’s TNA and the WWE have achieved far too much with enough reasons not to induct Vince as of yet. TNA in comparison are nowhere close to that junction, especially in regards to placing anyone in the Hall before Jarrett. Guys like Angle and Sting, whilst they’ve helped the company haven’t truly changed the landscape, that’s because of the thrill wearing off and feuds being rehashed in typical TNA fashion.
There’s obviously some disconnect between Jarrett and TNA, and the Hall of Fame has no validity in my eyes because it’s a concept in which TNA attempt to get a leg up on the WWE whilst glossing over their own history. It will be interesting to see how viable Angle is when he’s tweeting once again about how he’s primed for one last run with the WWE, I mean it’s that time of the month for him right? Without the Jarretts there’s no TNA, I can’t and won’t make it much simpler.
Up: A very, very, very confusing tag team division.
The heels get cheered, Chavo and Hernandez get no reaction, Storm and Gunner largely ignored, therefore just another day at the office then. You could argue that TNA are done following the traditional lines in the sand with this division, all the teams minus a certain Mexican duo are able to gauge interest in their characters and adjust accordingly, which is also known as being a honest and compelling set of performers.
I’ll be honest, I have no idea where they go from here but I’ll take a good stab at it:
1. Chavo and Hernandez’s stipulation back in Corpus Christi lasted just shy of two months, I’d say it’s best they just split up for good anyway. They can’t connect with the crowd, they suffer little to no reactions wherever they go and neither can survive in a singles role. I wouldn’t be too optimistic about these two going forward.
2. Bad Influence will remain awesome and continue to tug at my heartstrings, I’m hoping a feud between them and the Young Bucks is in the not so distant future (because their match from QPro Wrestling left me wanting more).
3. Aries and Roode should definitely part ways (amicably of course) and be elevated to the main event scene again. These two are too valuable not to be in that situation, and considering the BFG series is upon us there’s no better time.
4. Storm and Gunner are an interesting prospect, and whilst it was a solid outing for the duo I still have concerns as to whether Gunner can thrive in a face role. I was hoping for a Crimson cameo here, but I was also pleasantly surprised as to how involved Storm was in this match considering his injury. Kudos to you Sir.
Down: No one cares about if you still love Bully, Brooke.
THIS IS NOT IMPACT.
Up: The best part of the night, and it was the knockouts!!!
There’s an awful lot you can (and will) say about the knockouts over the years, how it went from being this glorious part of TNA’s history to what it is today, and you could apply that same logic to women’s wrestling in general. But the difference between the way TNA treat women’s wrestling, and for example the WWE and how they treat it is just insurmountable. TNA at least still have a valid interest in showcasing their women beyond sex symbols and being laughed at, and whilst they have got it wrong recently, they should also be commended when they hit it dead on.
Boy did they get it so right here.
This feud has been built like a dream since day one, both women just have this insane chemistry and the ability to make this something we want to check into. It’s resonated with so many people that it’s overshadowed even the knockouts championship – although I don’t think you can pin that solely on this feud as much as you can Velvet Sky being a lacklustre champion – regardless, this match made it onto the PPV and the knockouts championship didn’t and that speaks volumes.
As does the crowd during the closing moments, just watch this:
I’m going to sing Taryn’s praises here, but that’s not to say I’m ignoring the impact of Gail Kim, because I’m not. She’s the best woman’s wrestler in the world bar none, she’s the greatest knockout in TNA’s history, again bar none. Is Taryn on that level? Of course not, she was green in places and that’s expected, but to say Gail carried her through this match would be a disservice. Just by watching her in the ring you could see how much she wanted it, the unnecessary bumps she didn’t need to take but did just to get the reaction they both got, I bet that felt great. It just goes to show that’s how you make a star out of a knockout who is willing to better herself (and yes I’m looking at you Velvet). It’s not rocket science, the match was fun, it was unpredictable and it was the most enjoyable part of the PPV by a mile. I cannot say enough good things and I hope this propels the knockouts division moving forward.
Up: New AJ, new music.
Awesome.
Up: Questionable finish, but they brought the goods.
I won’t harp on about the finish too much, I felt AJ should have won, with the build to his new character in full swing it seemed like it needed to happen. Will it hurt him moving forward however? I don’t think it will. AJ’s going to be in the BFG series, he’s going to lose matches and that’s a given, I’ve never been a fan of undefeated streaks as it feels unnatural and when that loss finally arrives it can kill the character. Losing to Kurt Angle after his HOF announcement via rollup is no burial whatsoever, the progression of AJ throughout the months leading up to Bound For Glory will still be compelling television, so I’m on board.
The match was Angle-AJ, therefore it was fantastic. The fact that it’s been done a thousand and one times before wasn’t necessarily an issue, in fact with the Hall of Fame announcement earlier it seemed to add a certain mystique to the bout. AJ mixed it up with some new moves that didn’t totally shroud his new persona, Angle brought his A game like only Kurt Angle can, and the ‘AJ landing on his feet from the top rope only to be suplexed into the corner’ was in a word, awesome. This match was one of their most psychologically sound matches together, they brought the goods.
Down: Sting and his shirt = ‘till death do us part.
I should stop trying to justify anything this Aces and Eights angle tries to achieve, the Earth has spun on its axis at least once now whilst this deviant group patrol Impact and the fucks given haven’t increased at all. The stipulation in place may as well have been titled ‘damage limitation’, because literally everything was in place to protect Sting in defeat. Whether that’s battling away four men at once, kicking out of a piledriver on the wood flooring or fighting the battle to keep his tattered shirt around his torso. Sting nailed it all tonight, apart from the whole winning part. And that’s the most important thing right?
I’ve mentioned before how the build-up was actually pretty good, what with Sting’s championship hunt on the line later compiled with Bully’s declaration to put Sting away with the piledriver. Sting was built up throughout the evening with highlights of his championship victories throughout the years (because building up a fourteen time world champion is apparently a must now), this felt like a big deal, like TNA could do no wrong and forget about past transgressions.
But then this whole match fell into the trap TNA just can’t seem to get out of for the past year, and we’re right back at square one laughing at the hilarity. Sting is at one point battling five men (with Anderson making an appearance that’s then six), no one person from the TNA locker room comes to aid Sting. It’s quite pitiful, considering how all the months spent on the shelf by the likes of Magnus, Samoa Joe and Jeff Hardy apparently aren’t cause for revenge, so instead they’ll sit in the locker room hoping to beat their high score on Angry Birds. This TNA vs Aces and Eights battle has been perceived as a big deal by just about everyone, yet in an instance where Bully has a legitimate shot of losing all of his power, no one member of Team TNA is located to, you know… help Team TNA.
Of course loopholes are apparent in pro wrestling, and it helps to advance the storyline and this shouldn’t be a big deal, but in the terms of context it is. Logical storytelling with legitimate pay offs trumps all, but apparently it doesn’t trump Sting and his t-shirt.
