Down: Sarcastic/narcissistic/dickheadish D’lo is well… infuriating.
Queries about D’lo in TV main events and why he’s still on live TV in 2013 are redundant now, purely because it seems like he’s gone. Finished. Finito. Probably back to Chicago to walk alone, funny how that works right?
D’lo was outlandish here, maybe he felt like he needed to rub Anderson’s short comings into his face, just like the whole club did after his numerous transgressions. And that’s probably the most interesting thing surrounding the Aces and Eights now.
Think about it, the element of surprise went months ago, sneak attacks and personal beef alike is now just seen as another rehashing of ‘let’s attack in our drones whilst the good guys stand there with no backup’. That story gets old real quick and is primarily a reason why this whole scenario just feels lifeless, the next step naturally is to witness the disintegration of the club. I feel that’s the hook heading into Slammiversary and moving forward, with Bully effectively saying as much also. It bears asking why does Bully even need this entire backup? Unless we’re crediting the attacks from Hogan and Sting as legitimate cries for help, and believe me I’m not. The point is Bully’s a big boy, and besides from Devon hanging on to his charisma the other guys don’t offer a lot, and when the day comes that Bully is enquiring for Wes Brisco’s help beyond knowing what drugs you can and can’t take across the border, well I don’t want to live in that world anymore.
Up: An opening promo that doesn’t involve beach shops.
I’ll be honest, it’s nice to open Impact with a meaningful promo instead of the inane ramblings of Hulk Hogan, and whilst some have chastised Bully’s world championship reign as predictable and complained about his promos being too one dimensional, I don’t think that was the case here.
A lot of what he said made sense, he runs down why Sting is the Icon in which he’s defeated guys like Ric Flair (pop), Hogan, Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy. How over the years he’s been someone to look up to, perhaps underappreciated at times but inspirational nonetheless. He then states Sunday he’s going to end his quest for world championships moving forward and this was a nice touch, it’s good to see that this stipulation is being focused on. I could complain how the match is more about the potential end of Sting’s legacy as opposed to furthering Bully’s character, but a genuine case could be made for both aspects playing a major role so I’ll take it.
Down: The match, oh boy.
It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great, which is par for the course with most of Impact today. There wasn’t a lot to say, it was just there. You had the brawling before they decided to revert to standard wrestling rules, and most of the match involved Joseph Park being beat on before Super Sting and his t-shirt splashed his way into oblivion. The ending involved Abyss returning (but not really as just his music played), and if TNA are counting on Abyss’ return captivating viewers by the whole ‘playing his music to distract people for the lols’ twice a month then they need to shift gears.
Down: Oh goodie, another Dixie appearance with a mic.
Did someone say OSCAR?! (For fashionable clothing of choice which would be deemed cool in the 70s).
I get that showing up for the Impact before Slammiversary to drive home the fact that they’ve notched another year on their totem pole, therefore proving the naysayers wrong is something Dixie takes pride in, as well as announcing the next Hall of Fame inductee, but it doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable. Purely because it’s Dixie Carter with a mic.
A slight tangent too, but if the next inductee is anyone but Jeff and Jerry Jarrett then the whole process is just a mockery, I really wouldn’t put it past TNA to put Hogan in before the Jarretts (as a self-serving ego trip), and if that happens then there’s no hope for this company whatsoever. How can you even rationalise this being anyone but the Jarretts? You cannot, yes there are deserving guys such as Angle, Tenay, Borash and others, but none of this would be possible without Jeff and Jerry Jarrett. You can say what you want about TNA being the Jeff Jarrett show during the early days, but it shouldn’t influence this process whatsoever, just because it’s the right thing to do by your company.
Up: Bischoff wasn’t THAT bad.
There’s been a lot of hate surrounding Garrett Bischoff on the mic in this instance, but he was actually passable. You know what you get with this guy, someone who should have been in developmental to become better in all aspects yet was thrust into the spotlight, although it’s not necessarily his fault that he was placed on national television (I’m sure he didn’t object and why would he?) He plays the role of the cocky heel that runs his mouth and then hightails it, and in all fairness he plays it well (I’ll refrain from any particular puns here). In my opinion the main issue that falls firmly against him is his uncanny resemblance to Johnny Gargano, you know minus the in-ring ability, and all that jazz.
I’ll say this about him, I think he can become a solid mid carder at best, and he does gain both positive and negative vibes because of his surname which I guess is both a testament and an insult to him. With that aside he’s a much better presence than someone like Wes Brisco (who just flat out sucks).
Down: Big time players in a last minute attempt to get on a PPV card.
You’ve heard a lot of talk about TNA cutting down on their PPVs only for some matches still leaving a lot to be desired, especially in regards to their build up. You’d be amiss if you didn’t acknowledge that sentiment regarding the likes of Magnus, Joe and Jeff Hardy. Three guys who shouldn’t be in situations that involve them scrapping for a match on a PPV at the last second, yet here we are.
Slammiversary has succeeded in which Lockdown failed, and that is building up numerous matches with in depth build for most bouts. I guess that’s a case of trial and error, and I also realise you can’t fit all of your stars onto the card weeks in advance. It just feels like missed opportunities for guys who you perceive as stars.
Down: James Storm’s new winning tactic.
Which in a nutshell involves Gunner killing people, but will that be enough for a 3 count?!
Up: Gunner is a mean son of a gun, so why not build him up like one?
We’ve heard it all this week, from Aries wearing plain trunks to him making his entrance to Bobby Roode’s theme music therefore he’s being punished. Aries took the defeat from Gunner? PUNISHED! Aries stopped at McDonald’s on the way home therefore violated his vegan lifestyle? PUNISHED! Aries crotch thrusted Garrett Bischoff backstage before Garrett went crying to his dad? PUNISHED!
You get the drill.
TNA realises now that most of their audience doesn’t resonate with Chavo and Hernandez, and for Gunner to be perceived as this flat out beast on his in-ring return? He’s got to beat someone with substantial credibility. How about a former world champion? I’d say this is more of an indictment on Aries taking the pin then him not, there’s a lot that is said about Aries and his ‘selfish’ persona, but if he has the chance to help get someone over the hump then I’m sure he won’t deny them that. At least I’d like to think.
Up: Slowburning.
Which can be used to described Mickie James’ drawn out heel turn, and I’m perfectly fine with that. There’s times when a heel turn happens so fast you’d need your head on a swivel, and other times when it doesn’t make any sense to lay it out that way. Some of Mickie’s best work has come from a time in which we couldn’t quite figure out which side she was leaning towards, and to her credit she executes that role fantastically.
She displayed that exact sentiment again in this segment, her sarcastic yet faux concerned expressions were glorious, and whilst there were some instances of missing logic it altogether made for entertaining viewing. For the first time in quite some time the knockouts division has some interesting pieces in place, whether that’s Gail’s ‘crazy bitch gone even crazier’ routine, Taryn being the plucky underdog who is improving at an alarming rate, or Mickie who doesn’t particularly have a side as much as she holds distain for being held back.
Up: Continuing the X Division storyline threads beyond three ways.
To their credit TNA have tried to dispel that narrative, we saw it weeks ago with the back and forth promo between Sabin and King and we saw it here too. Whilst this model may portray the third man as dead weight (first Williams and now Suicide), there’s not a lot that can be done to counter that without violating these new rules in place. That’s the sad thing, in certain aspects the three way rules holds this new model back.
That being said the match was fine, we witnessed build up for two separate matches at Slammiversary which may have seemed to suffer from last minute syndrome, but the premise was in place. It was imperative for Sabin to pin King here also, if anything just to throw this X division championship up in the air, and it did just that.
The Suicide run in is justification of the odd man out precedence right now, just imagine if this tag match was a three way. Suicide could team with Jen Blake! I can dream.
Down: AJ wrestling in a t-shirt, tribute to Steve Borden!
He wants to be just like Steve Borden AKA Sting AKA The Crow Sting AKA WHY ARE YOU WEARING A T-SHIRT IN A WRESTLING MATCH?!
Down: The main event: just meh.
It’s not solely on the fact it’s AJ-Anderson, which coincidentally is the same as AJ-Angle and Angle-Anderson and I covered all bases there right? The match just didn’t have a lot going for it with the flow seeming slow paced at best.
That’s a shame because there were substantial reasons to buy into this TV main event, Anderson went all out trying to recruit AJ to the Aces and Eights, they thought they had him nailed on before he took a hammer to DOC’s overly sized head. Anderson then has a score to settle, the pressure is building not only on him, but the entire faction to get those W’s or risk deportation from the clubhouse and strippers alike. Brisco is playing WWE SmackDown vs Raw 2008 but that’s not relevant, (yet he’s happy because he gets to create a CAW of himself with actual wrestling ability so we’ll let that one slide). Anyway you get the picture, there’s a lot at stake.
So why didn’t this match come across as such? Instead of feeling like Anderson was fighting for his life, it just felt like a 10-15 minute Impact main event we’ve become accustomed to seeing. I’m not saying stipulations needed to be added to make it feel special, I’m not even saying we need to see Jason Hervey’s unorthodox camera shots of Brisco playing the Road to WrestleMania to help reinforce the group’s volatile state (although who wouldn’t want to see that?) I’m just talking about taking chances, stepping out of the comfort zone once in a while.
That leads me to what Will said in his latest Crossfire column in which he wants to see TNA adopt methods similar to the Attitute Era. And whilst I don’t agree with them basing their entire product on a practice from 15 years ago, they definitely need to take a different direction with some of their crash TV moments. Right now things are just fine, nothing extraordinary yet nothing too underwhelming. TNA are just playing it safe, which for a company who for years revolutionised pro wrestling and offered different alternatives we know they’re capable of so much more. Maybe it’s the fascination with ratings, or the Hogan and Bischoff factor, or even a million and one other things, but TNA are struggling to find an identity with the live vs taped schedule, and again a million and one other things.
We end the show with a brawl, which has never happened before right? What to say about the Slammiversary card? It looks good, but that’s all that can be said about it. It may turn out to be outstanding and we might just forget about diving right back in to week after week of Aces and Eights vignettes for just a moment. And if any TV show can make me do that then we’re halfway there.
