Ups and Downs: July 25th IMPACT Review
"All Hail the Pele!"
"All Hail the Pele!"
- Welcome everyone to another episode of Impact. Chris Sabin is your new World Heavyweight Champion (still no congratulations from Alex Shelley, Twitter beef sucks), a new X division champion will be crowned, and Kevin Nash returns to TNA!
- As always if you like what I write then comment, if you think I suck and I'm deserving of multiple BMEs to my head then comment also! Discussions are welcome and I'll try my best to reply without the sass.
Down: There’s only room for one lawyer in Impact, (and that’s Joseph Park)
I didn’t hate it, the lawyer’s dialogue was so outlandish and melodramatic that it was perceived more as comedic than anything else, but if we compare this character to past lawyers who have showed up on TV for numerous promotions, then it’s actually more believable. And I do keep going back to how believable it is for a reason. They ran the story of how Bully was screwed, which actually made as much sense as the faces in the ring trying to reason that Sabin didn’t stoop to Bully’s level either last week. But all of this doesn’t mean Joseph Park isn’t a better lawyer, because he’s the ONLY lawyer we need to see.
As for the rest of the segment, it seems we’ve moved on from Hogan opening every show to the Main Event Mafia and Kurt’s sunglasses, (which are still so awesome). Sting managed to outdo even himself by putting over himself and the Mafia within the scope of Sabin’s title win, because of course the Main Event Mafia won the battle and not Chris Sabin.
Although with that being said, Sabin’s brief cameo was well-rounded. He spoke about how he’s got a target on his back and welcoming of all challengers, (which makes a change from “I’m not fighting you with my boys in leather”), and also sets up himself vs the new X division champion next week, which should be awesome. Did Hulk get the memo he’s not calling ALL the shots? Sorry Hulk.
Bully has an attorney??? This guy couldn't hold my jock strap in a court room!!! #ImpactLiveUp: Hulk doesn’t comment on pending litigation.
— Joseph Park (@JOSEPHPARK_esq) July 26, 2013
At least he learnt something from his marriage with Linda.
Up: Manik/TJ Perkins/Spider-Man.
There’s been some criticism surrounding the viability of TNA removing Manik’s
mask, therefore revealing TJ, no less in a backstage segment. But I feel this
makes some sense, because TJ, bless his cotton socks, isn’t going to resonate
with viewers at all wearing tights coupled with his vanilla look. And whilst I
think it’s a redundant gimmick and he can do so much better, there’s a super
hero avenue they’re tapping into, and I like that.
Although if this gimmick goes the way of Tobey Maguire post Spider-Man 2, well, let’s just say TJ will end up back on the indies quicker than you can say ‘why is he dancing in jazz clubs with a Jared Leto haircut?’ I think he’s probably safe considering AJ is executing that role to perfection right now. I can however see this scenario only asking more questions, such as when will Christy Hemme play Mary Jane, or how long until Wes Brisco plays the part of the Green Goblin? You know, the thought provoking questions.
Down: JB playing the role of Taz.
If people are willing to call Taz out and dismiss him as a horrible personality for mixing up Rubix with Rubik, then Borash deserves some criticism for name dropping Suicide. I’m just putting that out there. And whilst we’re on the subject of commentary, the team of Borash-Tenay didn’t sound great this week, especially during the Ultimate X match. Come on guys, can we not think of more interesting things to talk about regarding Trent then his kneepads and Bill Murray. And I’m a big Bill Murray fan.
Up: A good match, but not the best.
Although if this gimmick goes the way of Tobey Maguire post Spider-Man 2, well, let’s just say TJ will end up back on the indies quicker than you can say ‘why is he dancing in jazz clubs with a Jared Leto haircut?’ I think he’s probably safe considering AJ is executing that role to perfection right now. I can however see this scenario only asking more questions, such as when will Christy Hemme play Mary Jane, or how long until Wes Brisco plays the part of the Green Goblin? You know, the thought provoking questions.
Down: JB playing the role of Taz.
If people are willing to call Taz out and dismiss him as a horrible personality for mixing up Rubix with Rubik, then Borash deserves some criticism for name dropping Suicide. I’m just putting that out there. And whilst we’re on the subject of commentary, the team of Borash-Tenay didn’t sound great this week, especially during the Ultimate X match. Come on guys, can we not think of more interesting things to talk about regarding Trent then his kneepads and Bill Murray. And I’m a big Bill Murray fan.
Up: A good match, but not the best.
I liked this match, whether that was because of Sonjay’s moonsault from the
steel support, the insane superkick (and subsequent sell by Trent), or because
of how many jumps my stomach made during the final two minutes when the
structure was shaking. I can’t quite pin it on one thing, but it made me feel
like there was something on the line. Even though Option C was a week ago, you
could still feel the after effects of that stipulation in this match. And there’s
nothing better than your talent fighting for something that feels like it
actually means something.
There’s an issue though, and it’s not surrounding this particular matchup as much as it does the actual Ultimate X setup in 2013. Basically, I watched this match and then went back to YouTube and caught the Styles-Williams-Sabin bout from Final Resolution 2005, (which in case you didn’t know is outstanding, and one of the top Ultimate X contests ever). Everything went right that day, from a solid backstory to three men who were on top of their game. AJ Styles was more over as AJ Styles in 2005 than he is right now, Petey was on a roll as part of Team Canada with D’Amore, and Sabin doesn’t need any introduction. The Ultimate X matches way back then just felt like there was more at stake, and you could put that down to the high-risk nature. I’m not saying that TNA should ask their talents to go out and see who can land the hardest on their neck like that crazy Daniels spot, but I do want to see more action asides from climbing the structure, sitting on top and punching each other a few times, before one eventually falls and the other man wins. And if that isn’t the case, then cut down on the number of Ultimate X matches. Make them feel special as opposed to a chore.
Down: Feeling kinda bad for Sonjay.
It’s hard to understand why Dutt has never been X division champion, but he’s more than deserving of eventually getting there. I mean, we gain pre-match promos for Trent and Manik, but not Dutt? Hell, just let him cut a seven second video via Vine and that in itself screams championship to me. But seriously, I hope in the lead up to Bound For Glory that Dutt is involved in the X division champion in some form. If you have to then turn him heel, or just play videos of his time in Ring Ka King and be done with it. That’s the trump card.
Down: Anderson-Hernandez was what you expected it to be.
If you only have two hours of programming a week, and you’re showcasing the Bound For Glory series in detail, then truthfully the matches you do show need to be compelling. Hernandez vs Anderson is not one of those matches, therefore throw it on a live event card and keep it away from national television, (permitting they have valid wrestling licenses for that particular state of course). Hernandez isn’t going to finish in the top four of the BFG series, Anderson may sneak in but he won’t win the thing, so this is nothing more than a throwaway.
After the proceedings though, Anderson opened a gateway as to how you can beat Hernandez (as if it wasn’t obvious beforehand). So, how do you beat Hernandez? Well, you proceed as followed:
1. You wait until he heads up the ramp for Air Mexico (because there’s three things granted in life: taxes, death and Hernandez attempting Air Mexico during one of his matches).
2. When you see SuperMex - I use that term very loosely – jogging down the ramp, you can then start to move out of his path.
3. Wait until his body hits the mat and then hit your desired finisher for the 1-2-3. Then finish that off with a chant of “tell Chavo he sucks”.
Sidenote: The Chavo part is optional, but if executed in the right manner can really drive home the fact how much Hernandez’s life sucks.
Up: Eric Young is a scientist.
There’s an issue though, and it’s not surrounding this particular matchup as much as it does the actual Ultimate X setup in 2013. Basically, I watched this match and then went back to YouTube and caught the Styles-Williams-Sabin bout from Final Resolution 2005, (which in case you didn’t know is outstanding, and one of the top Ultimate X contests ever). Everything went right that day, from a solid backstory to three men who were on top of their game. AJ Styles was more over as AJ Styles in 2005 than he is right now, Petey was on a roll as part of Team Canada with D’Amore, and Sabin doesn’t need any introduction. The Ultimate X matches way back then just felt like there was more at stake, and you could put that down to the high-risk nature. I’m not saying that TNA should ask their talents to go out and see who can land the hardest on their neck like that crazy Daniels spot, but I do want to see more action asides from climbing the structure, sitting on top and punching each other a few times, before one eventually falls and the other man wins. And if that isn’t the case, then cut down on the number of Ultimate X matches. Make them feel special as opposed to a chore.
Down: Feeling kinda bad for Sonjay.
It’s hard to understand why Dutt has never been X division champion, but he’s more than deserving of eventually getting there. I mean, we gain pre-match promos for Trent and Manik, but not Dutt? Hell, just let him cut a seven second video via Vine and that in itself screams championship to me. But seriously, I hope in the lead up to Bound For Glory that Dutt is involved in the X division champion in some form. If you have to then turn him heel, or just play videos of his time in Ring Ka King and be done with it. That’s the trump card.
Down: Anderson-Hernandez was what you expected it to be.
If you only have two hours of programming a week, and you’re showcasing the Bound For Glory series in detail, then truthfully the matches you do show need to be compelling. Hernandez vs Anderson is not one of those matches, therefore throw it on a live event card and keep it away from national television, (permitting they have valid wrestling licenses for that particular state of course). Hernandez isn’t going to finish in the top four of the BFG series, Anderson may sneak in but he won’t win the thing, so this is nothing more than a throwaway.
After the proceedings though, Anderson opened a gateway as to how you can beat Hernandez (as if it wasn’t obvious beforehand). So, how do you beat Hernandez? Well, you proceed as followed:
1. You wait until he heads up the ramp for Air Mexico (because there’s three things granted in life: taxes, death and Hernandez attempting Air Mexico during one of his matches).
2. When you see SuperMex - I use that term very loosely – jogging down the ramp, you can then start to move out of his path.
3. Wait until his body hits the mat and then hit your desired finisher for the 1-2-3. Then finish that off with a chant of “tell Chavo he sucks”.
Sidenote: The Chavo part is optional, but if executed in the right manner can really drive home the fact how much Hernandez’s life sucks.
Up: Eric Young is a scientist.
Can these two just be a tag team? Please?
Down: Hey everyone! Velvet’s back, and she’s not using logic!
Down: Hey everyone! Velvet’s back, and she’s not using logic!
So basically, Velvet was injured. She wanted to defend her title to Mickie
James regardless of said injury, and then lost her title. So naturally this is
all Mickie’s fault because she took ‘took advantage’ of her injury, even though
the ball was firmly in Velvet’s court and Mickie then wanted to hold off on the
rematch until Velvet was 100%. Look Velvet, if you don’t want to try and pin
two logical sentences together then I won’t waste my breath on your idiotic
performances both in and out of the ring. Just leave and never come back.
Down: I can’t buy in to Mickie-Gail.
Maybe it’s because I’ve seen this match a dozen times before, or because there was a Velvet Sky at ringside, or even the fact that ODB is actually going to wrestle again. Either way I just can’t find anything that interests me here, and it’s not to say it wasn’t a good match. With any bout there needs to be a hook, or in another sense some sort of direction, is there any of that in place here? I mean aside from Gail fighting yet ANOTHER referee and Brooke Hogan butchering another promo on the stick.
Like I said, the match was fun, and Gail finding issue with another referee would be fine if it didn’t already happen with a younger and more interesting version in Taryn Terrell. But that storyline shares the same sentiment as to what the whole knockout division in 2013 represents – old and tired methods that need updating in the worst way.
Up: Hulk and Dixie – concerned parents.
I’ll give TNA credit in building intrigue throughout the night as to where the lawyer situation would go, they effectively built a hook and pulled us in bit by bit. The dialogue however portrayed Hulk and Dixie as concerned parents more than authority figures, with Dixie in particular playing a caricature of herself becoming too personal in the worst way. Maybe that’s the fixation with Dixie Carter.
Up: Two BMEs? Sign me up.
Down: I can’t buy in to Mickie-Gail.
Maybe it’s because I’ve seen this match a dozen times before, or because there was a Velvet Sky at ringside, or even the fact that ODB is actually going to wrestle again. Either way I just can’t find anything that interests me here, and it’s not to say it wasn’t a good match. With any bout there needs to be a hook, or in another sense some sort of direction, is there any of that in place here? I mean aside from Gail fighting yet ANOTHER referee and Brooke Hogan butchering another promo on the stick.
Like I said, the match was fun, and Gail finding issue with another referee would be fine if it didn’t already happen with a younger and more interesting version in Taryn Terrell. But that storyline shares the same sentiment as to what the whole knockout division in 2013 represents – old and tired methods that need updating in the worst way.
Up: Hulk and Dixie – concerned parents.
I’ll give TNA credit in building intrigue throughout the night as to where the lawyer situation would go, they effectively built a hook and pulled us in bit by bit. The dialogue however portrayed Hulk and Dixie as concerned parents more than authority figures, with Dixie in particular playing a caricature of herself becoming too personal in the worst way. Maybe that’s the fixation with Dixie Carter.
Up: Two BMEs? Sign me up.
TNA are their own worst enemy when it comes to making a big deal out of something,
and this particular instance is no different. Joe and Daniels are two long term
fixtures within the company, two outstanding talents that are about as popular
as they ever have been. Yet there was little TNA did to promote this match in
advance. Just give me something, a video package from one of their past
encounters, both men talking about their long and storied history. Anything.
The psychology was dead on here however, with Joe playing the dominant and brutal force, and Daniels taking every opportunity he can. It goes to show how easy pro wrestling can be when you have two guys who know what they’re doing between the ropes. And as I said, any match that features two BMEs (perhaps the most elegant looking moonsault I’ve ever seen by anyone), is a winner in my eyes.
Down: Crimson and RVD action figures?
The psychology was dead on here however, with Joe playing the dominant and brutal force, and Daniels taking every opportunity he can. It goes to show how easy pro wrestling can be when you have two guys who know what they’re doing between the ropes. And as I said, any match that features two BMEs (perhaps the most elegant looking moonsault I’ve ever seen by anyone), is a winner in my eyes.
Down: Crimson and RVD action figures?
Kudos, TNA.
Up: Sting discussing where to take his legal mumbo-jumbo next.
Up: Sting discussing where to take his legal mumbo-jumbo next.
Sting’s taking it to the court of law.
Up: All hail the Pele.
Okay, more main events like this TNA, because it was tremendous. This match had a definite spice to it, judging by the numerous stiff shots by both men, (I’m looking in particular at the pretty sick looking baseball slide by AJ, and the powerbomb by Hardy that sent AJ into oblivion). There’s a fine balance in wrestling, whether you talk about matches that are slower paced and are heavily choreographed in places, other contests that feature rough action with a mentality of going with the flow, and some that find their way in between the aforementioned. But when you find a match that makes you sit back and wince when certain shots hit, then you know there’s something slightly special going down.
Looking beyond the action, and more towards the story that was told is also noteworthy. This match felt like it was trying to figure out what AJ is trying to be, even months after his return, and that endorsement rings true. The announcers were placing particular emphasis on AJ bringing some old moves back, as well as Tenay wishing the old AJ would return, and that’s as if they’re willing us at home to resonate with AJ and ultimately try and find a sticking point with this new character.
Up: All hail the Pele.
Okay, more main events like this TNA, because it was tremendous. This match had a definite spice to it, judging by the numerous stiff shots by both men, (I’m looking in particular at the pretty sick looking baseball slide by AJ, and the powerbomb by Hardy that sent AJ into oblivion). There’s a fine balance in wrestling, whether you talk about matches that are slower paced and are heavily choreographed in places, other contests that feature rough action with a mentality of going with the flow, and some that find their way in between the aforementioned. But when you find a match that makes you sit back and wince when certain shots hit, then you know there’s something slightly special going down.
Looking beyond the action, and more towards the story that was told is also noteworthy. This match felt like it was trying to figure out what AJ is trying to be, even months after his return, and that endorsement rings true. The announcers were placing particular emphasis on AJ bringing some old moves back, as well as Tenay wishing the old AJ would return, and that’s as if they’re willing us at home to resonate with AJ and ultimately try and find a sticking point with this new character.
I think AJ is slowly finding his feet, the problem in my opinion has always
been about allowing him to have some freedom. Don’t tie him exclusively to one
anchor as much as you should just let him go out there, hit some old moves but
also mix it up with a lot of stiff shots. Show a vicious side, but then
counteract that with some nostalgia and I think the rest will write itself. Point
in case, reintroducing moves such as the Pele will wind up on the nostalgia
side, with the Calf Killer fulfilling the narrative that it’s still a new AJ
Styles. Also, any reason to execute the Calf Killer is fine by me as it looks
outstanding, a true thing of beauty.
Finally, I liked the brief exchange between Hardy and AJ at the end. If anything, the fans are then allowed to take another peek at AJ and what motivates him. It’s as if AJ is looking at his past and effectively putting his two fingers up, and that will rile some people up. Everything was spot on here with both men, so it’s a big thumbs up from me.
Down: Wrestling logic.
Finally, I liked the brief exchange between Hardy and AJ at the end. If anything, the fans are then allowed to take another peek at AJ and what motivates him. It’s as if AJ is looking at his past and effectively putting his two fingers up, and that will rile some people up. Everything was spot on here with both men, so it’s a big thumbs up from me.
Down: Wrestling logic.
I realise pro wrestling in 2013 makes it cool to cheer the bad guys and boo
the good guys, because that’s just the way the majority of fans are conditioned
to act. And it doesn’t help matters when those faces are booked to act like the
world shines out of their rear end thus making them immensely unlikeable. I’m
not necessarily implying that Chris Sabin is acting like a giant douchebag, as
much as I’m saying there’s a lack of logic in place on his part.
Think about it, Sabin’s win has a big asterisk next to it, there’s a lot to be said about a win that involves little offense and a giant hammer shot to top victory off. Say what you will about Bully, but his two hammer shots – against Hardy at Lockdown and in Corpus Christie – were both legal. This isn’t me picking shots with Sabin, because I’m ecstatic he’s the champ. But when he walks out with no acknowledgment of the manner in which he won the title, then there shouldn’t be confusion when people aren’t quite sure how to react to his win.
It isn’t really an issue with Sabin as much as it is with the booking of last week’s main event, but I’ve covered that in detail. The lawyer situation, whilst fun and keeping viewers tuned in throughout the night – was unnecessary and needless. There was nothing to stop Hogan ripping up the contract at the beginning of the show and announcing a steel cage main event, but we also don’t ever associate Hogan with logic in the same breath. That aside, we get a steel cage match between Sabin and Bully (hopefully with no interference and shenanigans), which will be a fun match given time.
Here’s to hoping Sabin gets more than three punches on Bully this time round. Until next week.
Think about it, Sabin’s win has a big asterisk next to it, there’s a lot to be said about a win that involves little offense and a giant hammer shot to top victory off. Say what you will about Bully, but his two hammer shots – against Hardy at Lockdown and in Corpus Christie – were both legal. This isn’t me picking shots with Sabin, because I’m ecstatic he’s the champ. But when he walks out with no acknowledgment of the manner in which he won the title, then there shouldn’t be confusion when people aren’t quite sure how to react to his win.
It isn’t really an issue with Sabin as much as it is with the booking of last week’s main event, but I’ve covered that in detail. The lawyer situation, whilst fun and keeping viewers tuned in throughout the night – was unnecessary and needless. There was nothing to stop Hogan ripping up the contract at the beginning of the show and announcing a steel cage main event, but we also don’t ever associate Hogan with logic in the same breath. That aside, we get a steel cage match between Sabin and Bully (hopefully with no interference and shenanigans), which will be a fun match given time.
Here’s to hoping Sabin gets more than three punches on Bully this time round. Until next week.
